K-Mart

I really hate going to K-Mart.

It's filthy, it's depressing, it's just downright poor. All I ever see in there are lower middle class Americans every once in a while, the rest are filthy construction workers covered in paint or some kind of grease. Nothing against them all really, they're just trying to make a living, but it doesn't help K-Mart's look to have a fat white guy with a mullet and shades wearing a shirt that says "Texas Girls, Yeehaw" walking around followed by some construction worker with a half-assed beard and paint splattered on him as if to say "Yeah, I never wash this."

Also, the overall layout and essence of K-Mart is very very shitty. Like, seriously, it's a cheap store for cheap things where cheap people can buy them, only to have the objects BREAK a couple weeks later, if you're lucky. But really, at least TRY to look decent. Maybe mop the floors every once in a while? Or can the half-wit employees not understand the ways of the MOP?? The worst thing about K-Mart seriously, is their employees. Shani'Qua and Jed are too busy over there in electronics texting, while La'Bisquick is painting her 9" long fingernails, so she can't touch a mop... or the computer... or ANYTHING for the matter... And Jose is too busy staring off into the distance in the automobile section. I understand, they are trying to make a living, who can blame them? In this economy nowadays, anyone is willing to take anything, but TRY TO SHOW SOME DIGNITY PEOPLE!!

Look, K-Mart sucks and all, but if you're looking for a quick item, it might be there. Their selection isn't that great, the food is almost always expired, and don't count on good ol' Jose to help you out on finding something. But, it's cheap. And many piss-poor Americans need this store, as do the Mexicans, Blacks, and hell, I even saw a midget there once.

Last time I went in there, I went to go get Christmas lights. My last strand wasn't working (we had it for the past few years) and I needed another one. So, I went there since it was the closest thing to me, waited 4 MINUTES in the parking lot for the old lady in front of me who stopped in the middle of the road, JUST to put on her jacket, and continue on her 12 second walk to her car... Yeah, that's about the average intelligence of the normal K-Mart shopper. Anywho, I go in, it smells like Mexican piss and motor oil, I get badgered by people to donate to something or another, and I politely decline because I've got no spare change at that exact moment. My plan was to come back with the change and THEN give some to them! Buuuuuuuuuut, as I said "I'm sorry, I don't have any on me at this time..." (which anyone else I'm sure would see that that meant "I'll be back with some after I buy my stuff!") the older woman shot me the stink eye and called me a cheap punk. WHOA, okay, well just because of your arrogance, instead of helping your probably imaginable charity foundation, I'll buy me a soda.

So I'm making my way to the Christmas aisle, and when I finally get there, I can't make my way to the lights because all the aisles were blocked off by FAT WHITE PEOPLE!! There were only two or three people in each aisle, but that was enough to make like their cholesterol and clog everything up. Later, when one couple finally moves, I get to the lights. I pick up some nice ones, make my purchase, and on my way out, I take a drink of my Sprite while passing the older lady. So there I am, in my car, about to drive off, when WHOASHITSLAMONTHEBRAKES!!!!!!!!! A little kid, maybe 4 or 5, RUNS out in front of me, not immediately followed by her proud biker-mustached balding-yet-bearing-a-mullet dad, who gracefully baby steps out in front of my car to avoid making his belly jiggly any more. Seriously, that's terrible parenting, and I know it has nothing to do with K-Mart, but dammit I hate people like him!! After waiting another couple minutes for a woman and her 15 kids to pass by, I head home, put up the lights... and some bulbs were broken.

Thank you K-Mart, for showing us all that thriving off a poor template can really keep your loyal customers, even the ones who can't spell "customers", continuously flocking back and purchasing your terribly handled appliances.

I hope you go out of business.